Sunday April 20th, 2003 - 02:47

So some girl e-mailed me and was like "excuse me, but could you please update your website? it sure was swell when you updated it. and you haven't really seem to done that in a really long time. and i'm sure that you're doing stuff that terribly important, but nothing's more important than entertaining me, so just go and update the fucking thing, would you?"

Actually, her name was Adriana. And she said, and I quote:

"hello christian at infliction dot org!

please update your web page, i really loved it.


Look, Adriana, I just made you famous.

I especially like the part where she spells out my email address, as if to subtly imply that it was kind of a pain in the ass to reverse engineer it, and maybe a clickable link would be nicer.

But we all know why there isn't a mailto: on this here page, don't we kiddies? That's right, spam. Those goddamned spammers just run through the web and steal anything even remotely looking like an e-mail address and sending you all the penis enlargement e-mail you can take.

Er. Just out of curiosity, is anyone else getting Penis Enlargement e-mail, too? Because I'm beginning to think that the spammers know some sort of inner secret about me. I'm getting insecure of my penis size.

I was tempted to put up a web-submission form on here, but I'm not sure I want to bother with people sending me anonymous e-fart noises.

I had a long rant about spam and why I think there should be capitol punishment for it's minions, but really, we've all heard it before, so I'll save the bits and just dream happy dreams where I have a giant digital spear made out of old computer parts, and I run around skewing various spam monsters and becoming a hero of the internet community.

If by "community" I mean "bunch of wakos who spend too much time in front of the computer, but are apparently in dire need of a hero".

The explanation for my absence can be summed in one word: Christine.
She's about five foot two, gorgeous, and she's fiesty as all hell. Needless to say she's been occupying lots of my time.

I recently decided to begin actively building various website for contract again. So if you are in need of my services, and would like your website to be all white, with black text centered in the middle, I'm your guy.

Actually, I should have some semblance of a professional looking design site thing coming in the next month or two. Time will tell. If you actually do need something done on this internet frontier of ours, feel free to drop me an email. It's down there. Adriana found it. You can too.

I'm going to end this little note by wishing everyone well out there. Times are tough, so I'm told, and you're all just plain swell for hanging in there like you have. Think about it this way: If I can be optimistic about life, anyone can. We all know I'm the most depressing bastard there is.

Take care of yourselves. Maybe I'll see you sooner than October.

Oh, and Adriana, I'm sorry I didn't actually reply to your e-mail. I'm pretty awful at that sort of thing lately. I promise to be better about it. Though you did get your wish, and actually posting my semi-response is sort of better than just replying to you and saying "okay", isn't it?


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